It's Friday - And You Know What That Means...

It's Weigh Day!
Or at least, it's my "official" weigh day - the one that counts and gets posted. I know I weighed in yesterday too - that's because I realized that I haven't had an official weigh in since (gasp!) August 5th. Seriously - I need a major ass-kicking - Pronto! I'm smart enough to know only the worst can happen when I don't keep my weight in check. (I don't think I weighed myself between December of last year to April of this year, and this is precisely how 30 pounds can creep on while you're, a-hem, "not looking"). The weigh in yesterday was mainly to see the vacation damage I had done. I was too nervous to step on the scale since getting back - yesterday was the moment of truth. Ugh....

Anyway, not to be deterred, this morning I hopped on the old scale and thankfully, it appears I am losing the ice cream vacation weight. I'm back to 230.25 this morning, which is right where I was August 5th, incidentally. So, to sum it up, August has royally sucked the big one as far as weight loss goes, but fear not, my friends - I am determined to make September a MUCH better month. You have my word. I'm more than a wee bit angry at myself that in two months I have not lost more than 6 pounds, but things are about to change. I'll be taking that 10 lb loss picture soon - I hope!

In other news, I did check out the gym at school yesterday and was rather delighted to find some decent nautilus  equipment, 4 treadmills and 3 elliptical machines, plus free weights and some medicine balls. It's actually pretty nice. I could kick my own ass for not taking advantage of this sooner, but I am feeling good about my course of action for this semester, and taking advantage of this place. I didn't see any locker room for showering, however which has me a little worried - BUT worse case scenario, I'll just throw a stick of deodorant in my bag and a change of clothes so I can freshen up in the bathroom after my work out the best I can before class. Is that freaking disgusting? I know if I wait to work out until after class (which can be anywhere between 9:00PM - 9:45PM) it just isn't gonna happen so I am trying to figure out the best plan of action so I don't blow this. While it's not my goal to reek up the classroom, I don't want to jeopardize my ability to work out simply because a shower isn't available - that would be stupid....I am not trying to impress anyone in my classes, but I certainly don't want to alienate people with a case of my post-workout BO either. What do you all think?

Anyway, I'm not going to agonize over it. I'm just happy to have checked it out and I feel comfortable that I will be heading there at least 3 times a week. It's a start. Today's focus is getting the house in order - we are having carpeting installed today and will be getting new furniture on Tuesday. I can't wait - this house has been upside down long enough!!! So much to do, so little time!

Weighing In After Vacay...

Oh, hello there!

Remember me?

Yeah, I'm back - finally -  after what seems like the world's longest hiatus from Blogville. Someone should hand me an award for Worst Blogger for the month of August because it's been a long post-barren month for sure. All the wonderful ideas I had about blogging from the beach fell through and here I am, back home (as of Sunday evening) and I am just getting to posting something now. (BIG SIGH.....)

So, how was vacation, you ask? Did I eat myself into a sugar and fat filled food coma - is that what you want to know?????

Mmmm, not exactly. I weighed myself when I got home and sure enough, I had gained some poundage during my vacation - but it was not what I consider excessive (today my weight is 231.5) and I contribute that in part to being much more active at the beach than I normally am here at home (which frankly is a huge problem since I spend most of my time, NOT at the beach, but here at home). We got in lots of bike riding, swimming, and of course, walking - although not as much walking as I would have liked. It seems I have an annoying case of plantars fasciitis - or as I like to call it, Plantars FAT-She-itis, that has been causing me a bit of pain when I walk. Biking seems to be the best exercise alternative right now since it puts minimal pressure on the bottom of my foot. And while I know I am not really supposed to wear flip flops because it just exacerbates the problem, I refuse to give up my beloved summer foot wear until I absolutely have to - pain be damned. Sometimes I can be so non-compliant.

I am having a very hard time with coming to terms with summer's end and the beginning of another semester looming in front of me. Although it is my last semester of classes, it is going to be pure hell, and knowing this makes it VERY difficult to get jazzed about what the next 3 1/2 months hold. My biggest fear (of the moment) is that once Monday arrives, I am going to get completely lost in my school work (as I have been known to do) and forget that I am trying to  meet some weight loss goals before my body completely becomes one big gelatinous mess. It is a very real fear.....I have soooooo been down this road before.

So, I need to get a routine started early this semester that will be maintainable through December. I don't want to feel consumed by school work and not provide myself with some kind of outlet where I can recharge my batteries so to speak. I have to move - I cannot stay chained to my laptop from now until it's time to deck the halls with boughs of holly. I just CAN'T!

Since I have never been to my college's gym, today when I go to buy my text books (which may or may not require me selling a kidney to pay for them), I am going to try to get in there to check it out. I know they offer Zumba classes (the thought of which petrifies me just a bit), but I really have no idea what else they have there in terms of equipment, classes, etc. I figure since it's free, I have absolutely no excuse not to go (then again, I have been enrolled at this school since 2009 - so obviously I have made some excuses). I tend to be a little bit weird about the gym - I need to know where everything is (the lay of the land, so to speak) and that I will be able to shower (comfortably) after I work out and get to my classes in time (they're all in the evening so this should not be a problem). In theory, this plan for the gym and school sounds good...here's crossing my fingers that I stick to it.

Of course I am heading out to do my book purchasing and gym investigating when the weather here is about to become super nasty at any moment. Note to self: Take large umbrella - not puny little one stashed in the car. It looks like we'll get a slight reprieve tomorrow (which is good because we are getting new carpeting installed) and then we are expecting another deluge of rain over the weekend as Hurricane Irene passes through town. Good times.  At the very least, I'll get some house work done and maybe prep a few meals for the upcoming week, and jump on the elliptical machine - barring any floods or power outages, anyway.  Let's hope it's not Mother Nature's time of the month and she shows a little mercy....stay tuned, my good people!

Clearing out the crap

Holy Heat Wave, people!
This disgusting weather is really doing a number on my motivation to get outside and exercise. It's 10 AM and 87 degrees already. I just got back from a quick walk to the corner deli for some milk and the air was just so....uh, thick. This kind of weather makes me have only one thought: My butt should be at the beach. End of story.

Since that's not my reality at the moment, I need to suck it up and put plan B into action. Today I am going to *finally* clean up the rest of the red room (not to be confused with "redrum" from The Shining), so dubbed because the walls are painted bright red - see below). It used to be a spare bedroom but we decided to take down the bed and convert it into a mini home gym of sorts. At least that was the plan.  I had promised myself (and Josh) that once summer classes were over and we got back from vacation, I'd haul ass in there and get everything organized so that the gym equipment could be arranged in a way that made it actually user friendly. Well, let's just say classes were over June 30th and here is the state of the room as of this very moment:

Oh, what a friggin' mess!

I think I see an elliptical machine in there somewhere...

A treadmill and recumbent bike are under there somewhere...

I have a shelf full of stuff from the wedding (which was back in October, incidentally) and some various fabrics I have a hard time departing with (I still have dreams of making something with them), and bins full of supplies and materials and books I will need for school and when I finally have a classroom of my own. The question is where to go with all of it??? I have tried to sort through some stuff and believe it or not, this room actually shows progress from the state it was in a few months ago. However, I still need to find a home for the plastic bins of shit important things because right now they are the biggest hindrances to getting this room in shape -  so that I can get in shape!

There is a part of me that fears I may have some mild hoarder mentality at times (have you seen that show?? SCARY!) because I seem to have a hard time parting with things - even things I know really won't effect me or my life if I get rid of them. I desperately need to break that habit because this room alone is a clear indication of what happens when you don't chuck crap that you don't need, or at the very least organize it in some manner that makes sense. There are times, however, (and I am reaching that point now) that I want to just scrap everything and start anew. Part of it is this "new" journey I have embarked on. I think of the process as not only de-cluttering the space in which I live, but also de-cluttering the mind, and allowing me to focus on the things that are most important - like getting healthy and exercising.  By not cleaning this room up, I am single-handedly sabotaging my own workouts. And that's so not cool, and I know it.

I've never been a neat-nick by any stretch of the imagination - but it seems the older I get the more I crave order and want to live to a more simple existence with less "stuff" around me that has no value. Oh, and do we have stuff! My husband and I combined each of our 36 years of separate living into one back in 2008 and the house just sort of exploded. We are beyond ready for a good weeding out of stuff - and I think that once we do, we will feel all the better for it.

I often wonder if the self-diagnosed hoarder in me is a part of my past issues with food. Not being able to throw anything away - not being able to let a plate exist with food still on it. Feeling like I had to stuff myself with bad-for-me "stuff", ironically enough to make me feel better - if only for a nano-second. With each day that passes, I learn a thing a two about myself. I'm finally dedicating time to THINK about my issues, instead of just complain about them and blame my weight on lack of will power. I know that isn't the real issue. It never is....

Anyway, I hope to achieve some progress here today so that by tomorrow this will be a fully functioning space to work out! Tomorrow is also weigh in day and I am both excited and nervous about what the scale will reveal. Hope everyone is having a good day and staying cool!

I also just want to say how happy I am to have made some new connections with fellow bloggers. Thank you for your comments and support! It is wonderful to be able to share this ride with people you know are working toward similar weight loss goals! Good luck to all of you!

Walk This Way...

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit. ~ Aristotle

This particular quote inspired me to get my butt out of bed this morning, despite the nagging pain in my heel (I fear planters fasciitis or a heel spur) and go for a 2.85 mile walk with Josh and the dogs. I have been known to make any excuse under the sun as to why I can't exercise in the morning - using anything from back pain to period cramps to a broken nail to the bubonic plague - you name it - I came up with it - as long as it would allow me to stay in bed and be a lazy ass.

But over the course of the past few weeks, I have been walking rather faithfully with my husband in the morning ( I think I literally ran out of excuses and was starting to feel pathetic and frankly more than a little bit of an ass when my husband kept asking so nicely if I wanted to come along with him), and while it took me some getting used to, it is now pretty much routine. Yesterday my foot was really bothering me so I begged a reprieve for the day, which Josh conceded to. However, all day long I felt so damn guilty for not going so last night when he asked if I'd like to go for a bike ride - how could I say no? I'm not saying we did the Tour de France, but we got in over 4 miles so I felt pretty good about that.

In the past when I gave my half-assed attempts at weight loss, I would work out sporadically and get irritated when the scale didn't cooperate, when really, I shouldnlt have been surprised at all by it's lack of movement. I mean, why should the scale move when I wasn't willing to? Who could blame it? Now I realize that exercise isn't negotiable in this process - it is a must  - and it is something that I will need to continue doing the rest of my life, not just until I reach my goal.

I found this great blog post about making exercise a habit that gives some good common-sense advice on what to do if exercise isn't exactly second nature to you yet. This has always been a struggle for me, as I'd sort of do it here and there but not consistently enough to make it feel like it was natural part of my everyday schedule. I am happy to say that is changing and I am embracing exercise more and more. There have been times in my life when I have been a member at a gym and really enjoyed it. Last night I took the first steps to becoming that person again by calling the local gym and signing up for a seven day free membership. I am pretty sure I will end up joining - it is something I have wanted to do for a while now.

In the meantime, I just continue to keep on, keeping on.... I have to remind myself, this is not a race. This is for life.