Hello Sweat, It's Been A While...

Sweet Mary and Joseph.....Jillian Michaels really IS the devil.
I now know this to be true, first hand.

As you may be aware from yesterday's post, I had decided I wanted to participate in the 30 Day Shred Challenge starting Sept 12, along with a few fellow weight loss bloggers. There really aren't any major rules to the challenge, other than the date we start and the dates we are meant to progress from one level to the next. I decided that before I begin, I want to take measurements and post a start weight and I will more than likely do a weekly bitch session update about it to share how I am doing/feeling while being tortured by the likes of Ms. Michaels herself, even if it is only by way of my DVD player.

Because it has been so long since I have done any major work out in a gym or participated in a cardio session other than sporadic dates with my elliptical machine or walks with my hubs and the dogs, I was feeling a little worried about what might be in store for me next week. I've watched the Biggest Loser so I am fully aware that Jillian is a "take no shit/no excuses" kind of gal. I was in no way, shape or form, under any impression that this workout was going to be easy. So yesterday, making good on my promise to my fellow challengers and myself,  I stopped at Target before my class to purchase a copy of the 30 Day Shred DVD. Admittedly, I was looking for the disclaimer that would tell me that 230+ pound women might be better suited for a lower intensity workout, but alas, it was nowhere to be found. So I did what I set out to do and I bought the thing, wondering all the while if I'd still be alive after the 30 days of this challenge was over.

Since I'm not the type of person who really cares for surprises, this afternoon I thought I'd maybe take a sneak peek at the DVD to see exactly what I was going to be up against. I put the DVD in the player and watched as Jillian introduced me to her two buddies and explained that in no uncertain terms she was here to kick my ass and I may not like it at first, but I would most certainly be thanking her later. I sat ON MY COUCH as I watched her do her warm up arm swings, hip circles and knee circles. Then I watched her and her cronies get into the jumping jacks, jump rope and squat lifts with weights. Then I think she went on to do some butt kicks and maybe some ab stuff.....And then I thought to myself, "What the fuck are you doing sitting here on your ass? Do you think you are burning freaking calories through osmosis?????" 
And then I got the hell up, restarted the DVD and DID THE DAMN WORKOUT.

I know I am 5 or 6 days early on the challenge, and I apologize for that, but something inside me realized that today is the day I need to start, and I cannot look back. I have spent far too long making excuses as to why I can't work out that I certainly don't want to deny myself the chance to when the spirit actually moves me. I'm still a part of the challenge - but I wanted to come clean. Lord knows I need the head start anyway; my body needs to get used to moving again. If today was any indication, progressing from level 1 to level 2 won't be a picnic - but I will try to keep on schedule with the rest of the girls going forward.

Anyway, that is about it....I feel a sense of renewal today. This was just what I needed. Now I'm off to go take a hot shower (I feel my muscles starting to get sore already) and start prepping dinner....
Here is what we are having tonight....Lemon Garlic and Basil Slow Roasted Chicken. I cannot wait to try it! I'm also making steamed carrots and pan roasted broccoli on the side. Back to healthy eating.
Hope everyone else is having a good day.
Has anyone else done something today that they didn't expect to do?

A Big Thank You For My Virtual Ass-Kicking!

I'm staring out my window at a steady downpour and a sky so gloomy it practically demands an afternoon nap. I just have to ask...is this any way to spend the unofficial last day of summer? I think not.
Yet, here I am inside, working on (ugh!) homework and watching the rain, wishing I was doing anything but the afore mentioned activities.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the grey gloom of the weather kind of mirrors the mood I have been in for the past couple of days. One look at my "Chub Reduction Meter" to the right of my blog, and you can probably guess why. Maybe I should re-title it to read Chub Induction Meter???? With yet another pound added to my ass for this week, I'm thinking I'm less suited for writing a weight loss blog, but maybe the Paula Dean Fan Club would be happy to have me?

I'm not here to sugar coat things (maybe Splenda-coat is more apropos for our group?) - I've been on a roll around here (pun intended - I think it's a hot dog roll to be exact). It isn't pretty, friends. I'm not sure exactly what it was that sent me over the edge (School starting? Hurricane Irene?? My dwindling bank account??? My mentor teacher backing out of our agreement for my last 30 hours of observation at the last minute????) but without a doubt, I seem to have found myself in some kind of evil place that forced me to leave my better judgement at the door and feed my panic and stress with things that aren't exactly on anyone's "healthy eating list".

Yesterday was the first day I didn't feel akin to Alice falling down the rabbit hole, and realized that in the light of day, strawberry cream pie is not the answer to my stress, and that I need to get a grip, and get refocused. I must say that all of the comments I received from Thursday's post helped TREMENDOUSLY! Thank you from the bottom of my (no doubt artery clogged) heart. I asked for some ass kicking, and I got it - in a gentle, supportive way. I see all of you working so hard to meet your goals and I know that if I want to remain a viable member of this blogging community, I best start showing up to the game, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

The funny thing is, that even with the less than stellar eating, I HAVE been walking - quite a bit actually. Today is the first day I have missed a morning walk since last Tues or Wed. So, yes, some calories have been burned - but they have also been consumed. Oh, yeah they have. And so I have been giving the Fall Challenge a bit more thought. I'm sort of doing the Amp challenge (I think), in that each day I have met my 3 miles (except today, which I can still do on the treadmill) - but I haven't been timing myself or doing anything else other than logging distance - and I haven't been officially posting anything about it because I guess I don't know the exact details of the challenge or what I should be doing. Still, a three mile walk, is a three mile walk - so I won't discount my exercise - even if it's not following official challenge rules.

I still fear Jillian like she is the devil herself - and although I am not sure of the exact details of her workouts, if the Biggest Loser is any indication, I am pretty sure squats, jumps and other demands-of-the-knee-type exercises are a part of it. My biggest fear is that my knees may not accommodate those types of exercises, if the clicking and cracking mean anything. But after reading the reviews of the DVD, I have decided I need to go balls to the wall, and in the words of Nike and Rachellabelle at My Hips Don't Lie, "Just Do It!!!" With that said, I am going to join Taryn at Fat Girl in a Skinny World and Miss April at 30 Before 30 in the 30 Day Shred Challenge starting September 12. Wish me luck.

Taryn, if you're reading this, I WILL be e-mailing you for details!!!

So that's really it in a nut shell - I'm trying to take the advice of those that have paved the "weigh" before me and have shown me that my choices dictate my success. I'm sending a special shout out to MB at Why The Weight? for being especially inspiring and encouraging. She has taught me to take a moment to ask myself if the choices I am making will benefit me in reaching my goal. One decision, one choice at a time. I can honestly say, since the end of July, I had not been asking myself that question - and it shows on the scale. So, thank you for the virtual ass kicking - Lord knows I needed it!
And really, thank you to EVERYONE who takes the time to read my blog and leave a comment - your words means more than you know!

Ok - whew - feeling better already. (Amazing what a little cyber-therapy can do for a gal).
Let's get this fat-shedding party started for good!

My Beast of Burden...

I realize the calendar SAYS it's September 1st, but I really am having a hard time believing it's so. However, if my rampant sneezing, watery eyes and itchy face don't deceive me, then yes, it's true - we are barreling head first into the fall season. And there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. Bring on the Allegra!
While I absolutely LOVE fall (this year especially since I am relishing the fact we will have a fireplace to cozy up to on chilly nights), I'm always so sad to see summer fade away. I start thinking about how long it will be before I get my next whiff of Coppertone or how many days I have left to wear my white shorts before it's their turn to get packed away in the attic for another year. I dread the thought of having to relinquish wearing flips flops everyday and prepare myself for the inevitable fade of my skin tone from glowing tan to pasty white. Sigh...
Not all is lost, however! Fall brings it's own sense of magic and wonder....from spicy smells, to cooler morning walks, crisp apples, falling leaves, and beautiful scenery and best of all - Halloween!!!....but, on the flip side, I also associate fall with comfort foods and baked goods and those types of things that helped me pack on the pounds over the years. Fall also means the beginning of school (my last semester of classes before I student teach in the spring!) and a guaranteed crazy work load that, historically speaking, has been known to send me running into the arms of my nemesis, The Sugar Beast, when times get tough.
This particular onset of fall has also brought me to a new level of disappointment in myself that I have been trying to avoid talking about, until now. All of the goals I set for myself this summer have been sadly ignored. I had such good intentions in July after my summer classes were over, but my firm dedication to them has not been, well....the best. I have been sporadic in my exercise and in the last few weeks, even my eating has gotten off track. I know I 'm not losing weight....and believe me, it feel like hell knowing I am being my own worst enemy. The worst part is, I think about weight loss CONSTANTLY....as if thinking about it will magically make it happen. Ha - if only!
So, I'm plaguing myself with this question - How do I find my way back to Motivationland?
I have started walking with my husband again (two days so far) which does lift my spirits in the morning, and gets me moving in the right direction. I have checked out the gym at school and feel it is doable to get in a work out before class, no sweat (figuratively, of course! I know I need to sweat!). I just have been feeling like I need a major jump start that will provide me with results to get me going again.
WANTED: One Swift Kick in the Ass!!! Pronto.....
I realize I may need a little help here, so, I ask you: Have any of you ever had a hard time getting started? Is there anything you've tried that worked to kick start your diet/exercise regimen? 
Also - is anyone interested in doing a Fall Challenge? I'm game if you are!

It's Friday - And You Know What That Means...

It's Weigh Day!
Or at least, it's my "official" weigh day - the one that counts and gets posted. I know I weighed in yesterday too - that's because I realized that I haven't had an official weigh in since (gasp!) August 5th. Seriously - I need a major ass-kicking - Pronto! I'm smart enough to know only the worst can happen when I don't keep my weight in check. (I don't think I weighed myself between December of last year to April of this year, and this is precisely how 30 pounds can creep on while you're, a-hem, "not looking"). The weigh in yesterday was mainly to see the vacation damage I had done. I was too nervous to step on the scale since getting back - yesterday was the moment of truth. Ugh....

Anyway, not to be deterred, this morning I hopped on the old scale and thankfully, it appears I am losing the ice cream vacation weight. I'm back to 230.25 this morning, which is right where I was August 5th, incidentally. So, to sum it up, August has royally sucked the big one as far as weight loss goes, but fear not, my friends - I am determined to make September a MUCH better month. You have my word. I'm more than a wee bit angry at myself that in two months I have not lost more than 6 pounds, but things are about to change. I'll be taking that 10 lb loss picture soon - I hope!

In other news, I did check out the gym at school yesterday and was rather delighted to find some decent nautilus  equipment, 4 treadmills and 3 elliptical machines, plus free weights and some medicine balls. It's actually pretty nice. I could kick my own ass for not taking advantage of this sooner, but I am feeling good about my course of action for this semester, and taking advantage of this place. I didn't see any locker room for showering, however which has me a little worried - BUT worse case scenario, I'll just throw a stick of deodorant in my bag and a change of clothes so I can freshen up in the bathroom after my work out the best I can before class. Is that freaking disgusting? I know if I wait to work out until after class (which can be anywhere between 9:00PM - 9:45PM) it just isn't gonna happen so I am trying to figure out the best plan of action so I don't blow this. While it's not my goal to reek up the classroom, I don't want to jeopardize my ability to work out simply because a shower isn't available - that would be stupid....I am not trying to impress anyone in my classes, but I certainly don't want to alienate people with a case of my post-workout BO either. What do you all think?

Anyway, I'm not going to agonize over it. I'm just happy to have checked it out and I feel comfortable that I will be heading there at least 3 times a week. It's a start. Today's focus is getting the house in order - we are having carpeting installed today and will be getting new furniture on Tuesday. I can't wait - this house has been upside down long enough!!! So much to do, so little time!

Weighing In After Vacay...

Oh, hello there!

Remember me?

Yeah, I'm back - finally -  after what seems like the world's longest hiatus from Blogville. Someone should hand me an award for Worst Blogger for the month of August because it's been a long post-barren month for sure. All the wonderful ideas I had about blogging from the beach fell through and here I am, back home (as of Sunday evening) and I am just getting to posting something now. (BIG SIGH.....)

So, how was vacation, you ask? Did I eat myself into a sugar and fat filled food coma - is that what you want to know?????

Mmmm, not exactly. I weighed myself when I got home and sure enough, I had gained some poundage during my vacation - but it was not what I consider excessive (today my weight is 231.5) and I contribute that in part to being much more active at the beach than I normally am here at home (which frankly is a huge problem since I spend most of my time, NOT at the beach, but here at home). We got in lots of bike riding, swimming, and of course, walking - although not as much walking as I would have liked. It seems I have an annoying case of plantars fasciitis - or as I like to call it, Plantars FAT-She-itis, that has been causing me a bit of pain when I walk. Biking seems to be the best exercise alternative right now since it puts minimal pressure on the bottom of my foot. And while I know I am not really supposed to wear flip flops because it just exacerbates the problem, I refuse to give up my beloved summer foot wear until I absolutely have to - pain be damned. Sometimes I can be so non-compliant.

I am having a very hard time with coming to terms with summer's end and the beginning of another semester looming in front of me. Although it is my last semester of classes, it is going to be pure hell, and knowing this makes it VERY difficult to get jazzed about what the next 3 1/2 months hold. My biggest fear (of the moment) is that once Monday arrives, I am going to get completely lost in my school work (as I have been known to do) and forget that I am trying to  meet some weight loss goals before my body completely becomes one big gelatinous mess. It is a very real fear.....I have soooooo been down this road before.

So, I need to get a routine started early this semester that will be maintainable through December. I don't want to feel consumed by school work and not provide myself with some kind of outlet where I can recharge my batteries so to speak. I have to move - I cannot stay chained to my laptop from now until it's time to deck the halls with boughs of holly. I just CAN'T!

Since I have never been to my college's gym, today when I go to buy my text books (which may or may not require me selling a kidney to pay for them), I am going to try to get in there to check it out. I know they offer Zumba classes (the thought of which petrifies me just a bit), but I really have no idea what else they have there in terms of equipment, classes, etc. I figure since it's free, I have absolutely no excuse not to go (then again, I have been enrolled at this school since 2009 - so obviously I have made some excuses). I tend to be a little bit weird about the gym - I need to know where everything is (the lay of the land, so to speak) and that I will be able to shower (comfortably) after I work out and get to my classes in time (they're all in the evening so this should not be a problem). In theory, this plan for the gym and school sounds good...here's crossing my fingers that I stick to it.

Of course I am heading out to do my book purchasing and gym investigating when the weather here is about to become super nasty at any moment. Note to self: Take large umbrella - not puny little one stashed in the car. It looks like we'll get a slight reprieve tomorrow (which is good because we are getting new carpeting installed) and then we are expecting another deluge of rain over the weekend as Hurricane Irene passes through town. Good times.  At the very least, I'll get some house work done and maybe prep a few meals for the upcoming week, and jump on the elliptical machine - barring any floods or power outages, anyway.  Let's hope it's not Mother Nature's time of the month and she shows a little mercy....stay tuned, my good people!

Gotta Strategize for my Fatty Thighs...

Happy Tuesday!!!
Jeez....the days are really ticking by rapidly now, aren't they?  I feel like summer is going to be kissing me goodbye long before I'm ready to let it go. It tried having the "break-up talk" with me last night as I was gathering and organizing a few things I'll need for the upcoming semester, but I wasn't having any of it.....I'm just not ready to quit summer and start my affair with fall just yet. Thankfully, one big last hurrah at the beach is in order from 8/11 through 8/21, but then a week later, come hell or high water, I will be back in class, deeply submerged in academia hell. Oy friggin' vey....

My in-laws have a place at the beach and we are very fortunate to be able to spend as much time as we like there over the summer. Last year while the wedding planning was in full swing, we spent countless weekends and a couple of weeks there getting things in order, DIYing damn near EVERYTHING until the cows came home (see this old post to really get the sense of just how bat shit crazy I was), meeting vendors and finalizing details. To me, all the insanity was well worth it in the end (just don't ask my husband or any of my bridesmaids if they feel the same). We had a beautiful beach wedding on October 9.....aaahhhh - I can't believe Josh and I have had almost a whole year of wedded bliss already! Seriously - where does the time go?

This year, we haven't spent quite as much time at the beach, simply because of the house projects we have had going on. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE me some sun, sand and surf and could spend the rest of my living days there, leathering myself up in the blazing sun like an old suitcase; but beyond wrinkles and melanoma, the beach has been known to have other adverse effects, too. Especially when it comes to my waistline. And for that reason alone, it is probably a good thing I have had minimal time there this year. I have done enough damage to myself without it. Obviously...

So, knowing the temptations that lurk around every vacation corner, I need to devise my plan of action for our pending trip, so that there are no more gains anytime soon. This evening I need to sit and dedicate some serious time to devouring my cookbooks and Skinnytaste.com to ensure we have an arsenal of healthy meals we can prepare while there.....none of this eating out every night and subjecting ourselves to all that orgasmic beach food. I'm not saying we won't go out but when we do, I know exactly where we'll go  - Mariachi, which is where we had our rehearsal dinner - they have the BEST ceviche ever! (If you're ever in Rehoboth Beach, DE, please don't miss eating there!) And possibly a seafood restaurant or two where I know healthier fish (versus juicy burger) options will be served.

I also have a plan of action for my exercise. Generally speaking, I usually am relatively active at the beach, but this time I want to be a work out supa-stah! They have a great fitness center there that I have access to, as well as multiple pools, and we are of course bringing our bikes, which we normally ride every day, barring any rain. Then of course there is the beach - and jumping waves which actually provides a decent calorie burn! Not sure if we are planning on hauling the kayaks there or not - but that's always a good work out too. I'll be blogging from the beach to keep you updated on how I'm doing. Stay tuned!

Before I sign off today, I just want to say a big thank you to those that commented yesterday and made me realize that the gain I had this past week wasn't just cause for sticking my head in the oven and calling it quits. Sometimes, I so totally need that reminder that this isn't a quick or easy process, and that a gain CAN BE reversed with patience and diligence, and that lessons are learned with each loss OR gain for that matter....No matter how old I get, I clearly see that this is a lifetime learning process. And that's OK. I will persevere!!!

And so I leave you with a little bit 'o' food porn today....it's actually my dinner from last night.....I was so happy to finally make sugar snap peas that weren't a mushy mess! See? You can teach an old dog new tricks!

Grilled salmon rubbed with grated fresh garlic & ginger, and a drizzle of Thai chili sauce, with baked sweet potato and sugar snap peas sprinkled with a little sea salt. YUM.

Shame is the Name of The Game

Hello?.....hellooooooo....???? Is this thing ON????

I know, I know... it's been a while. But rest assured, I'm not dead - NOR have I completely abandoned my weight loss goals (although admittedly I was way off track with them) - I've just had a busier than usual week and weekend with minimal opportunities to get in front of the old laptop and dedicate some serious time to updating the blog. I've tried to hop around and visit some of my faves and post comments but haven't had the chunk of time needed to make an actual post myself....until now....

I wish I had good news to report after my near week departure from the blogospehere.....I owe you guys a weigh-in report for starters. I have to tell you, it isn't one I am proud of but one I will post it anyway, because lying about it doesn't make it go away, right? So - I gained 1.25 lbs this week - that's right - I said I gained! (Again). And frankly, the gain comes as no real surprise.

Why is it that when I make all of these promises to myself and get gung-ho about starting a regimen that the slightest little thing can lead me off course???

This week the "thing" that got me off course came in the shape of my 7 1/2 year old niece who was visiting us from Wed evening through Friday evening. Since I have no kids of my own, I feel like my whole mind set is thrown off when she comes to visit. What I mean is, as much as I love having her here, I tend to let her appetite for "kid food" give me the green light to eat it, too. And that, as I well know, is a huge no-no here in Fatreductionville.

We did manage to get in some decent activity though....morning walks and hours of swimming. But I didn't get on my elliptical or do my weight routine and my eating was, uh, a-hem... less than stellar. Unless, of course, bacon, blueberry pancakes and ice cream are diet foods these days. No, you say? Ok then...I didn't think so. In that case, I failed this week big time.

We also had a family picnic on Saturday that essentially amounts to table upon table filled with heart attack inducing foods....Heavens to Mergatroid! I wouldn't say I ate terribly there, and I didn't stuff myself silly or anything asinine like that - but again, I did indulge in things that had bright red glaring and flashing lights that screamed NO - DO NOT EAT/DRINK THIS!!!! My inner Mr. Magoo pretended not to see them.

Yesterday, to cap off an already long and tiring weekend,  Josh and I decided to attack our living room and finally paint because the fireplace is now finished (will be inspected tomorrow)....so now the real fun of redecorating can begin! I can't wait to get the new furniture and carpeting installed. Things can finally start to go back to normal...no more contractors! Meaning the house can start to look like a house again and all the stuff we had to disrupt in order to have the house work done can go back in it's place - or better yet, tossed if it no longer "fits". And that can apply to both clothing and house wares as far as I'm concerned.

So, while I had a gain this week, and my actions belied my words from my last post, I'm not giving up. It's a new week, and I'm ready for it. I woke up determined to give this week my all. I take each day one step at a time...and today started with walking a 5K so I guess that's a good start. We have no junk in our house to eat and tonight we are having garlic and ginger rubbed salmon, steamed sugar snap peas and a baked sweet potato. Planning will be essential to my success this week.....no doubt about that.

Anyway, I'll try not to disappear for such long lengths of time in the future. If I do, you can send in the dogs after me. If this past week is any indication, I'm bound to be doing something I shouldn't.....