Rebooting My System

For anyone who has ever been on a major exercise kick, only to kick it to the curb for a few months and then try to get back to it, you know how much it can bite the big one. This is where I am right now, and as I take breaks from typing this post to wipe the sweat off of my neck from the workout I literally just finished, I can honestly say I have very strong feelings about this part of getting back in the weight-loss saddle. These feelings may or may not involve lots of cursing under my breath.

30 minutes, 3 miles and 333.7 calories burned on the elliptical today. *small cheer for me*
I'd say that covers the oatmeal and raisins I had for breakfast this morning, if not the real half and half I still put in my coffee (and make no apologies for it). :-)

Hate may be too strong of a word for how I feel about getting back into the exercise routine after abandoning it what seems like eons ago. It's kind of a Catch-22 in some ways, because while I am not a fan of feeling like a whale in motion, I do, in some respects, feel very empowered with each rotation of the elliptical pedals. At the very least I know that I am doing something good for myself, even if I don't enjoy it the way I feel like I should. I know this feeling will change over time, as long as I stick with it. Right now I realize what I am experiencing are the growing pains, so to speak, of  adapting to this new life style (once again). It's like my body is being rebooted after a major system breakdown. I'm no stranger to this feeling - I just need to suck it up, stay consistent and in time, exercise will again become a friend to which I look forward to dedicating my time. Was it really summertime when I was doing Jillian? What the hell happened from then to now?

Nevermind all that  - bygones, I say. 2012 means looking forward, not backwards. I cannot change the past, but I can change the future. We have all heard this a million times and yet still,  the words carry such important meaning. As I sat this morning with my coffee, playing Words With Friends (if you're not yet addicted, good for you!), I thought about hopping in the shower and heading to the mall to spend a few gift cards I received for Christmas. I need a whole new wardrobe for students teaching (that's a whole other post) and nothing burns a hole in my pocket faster than "free money" to spend. But in a moment of divine intervention, or maybe it was just the roll of belly fat I spied as I looked down to plug in my computer, I decided today is the day I am going to start moving again. I'm doing Ok with food, and feel better about choices related to eating and calorie reduction - but it's the damn calorie burn that is the big challenge.

I can't tell you how many times a day, the words of  Michelle at Ruminations rings in my head - "It's not rocket science. Move more, eat less." She is so right. It's a simple formula, but one that needs to be driven by true desire, not mere want. Do I desire this - more than anything? Yes, I believe that I do. I am past the point of simply wanting to be thin, for the sake of being thin. That was my mojo in my twenties, and yes, even my thirties. But for god's sake, I just turned 40. There is no more screwing around. As my husband joked, we are "real grown ups now." Time to start acting like one - at least where my health is concerned.  At least I'll always be a kid at heart.

I know I said no New Year's Resolutions, but these cats have the right idea...