Ever since Halloween, I feel like life has been on perpetual fast speed and I just need to slow things down. It's the proverbial Catch 22 - I want time to go by quickly so that I will be finished with my classes and all the hellish time-sucking work that comes with them - But I NEED it to also slow down because Lord knows the work load I have in front of me can't get done in the course of a few days. I have 3 weeks to go and in that time I have the following projects due: 2 research papers, a special ed modified lesson plan, a graphic organizer to accompany one of my research papers, a group presentation, 2 final exams and a HUGE field work observation write up that I have to do based on my 90 hours of elementary school classroom observation (totaling about 100 pages typed). Never mind the stuff I have to do for the upcoming holiday.
Yeah, my head is spinning big time. Like a friggin' top.
|Stop the ride, I wanna get off.....|
So... if you guessed that dieting isn't on the front burner this week, you're 100% correctomundo!! What is it they say about the word "STRESSED" spelled backwards....??? Oh, come on - You know.....and I have been having my unfair share.
Basically, it boils down to this: I'm eating when I can, and eating what is available to me - and it's not all veggies and fruit, that is for sure. It doesn't mean I am having corn dogs dipped in cheeze whiz and chocolate covered chicken wings or anything, but I haven't been cooking a whole heck of a lot, that's for sure. My husband is on kitchen duty. In other words - There has been pizza. And shepherd's pie. And steak. And today a turkey & swiss pannini from the deli down the street. I did manage to make homemade black bean soup that was absolutely fabulous, minus the gas it gave me for three days after the fact. Beg pardon - TMI?????
This week wasn't great to say the least - I am back at 231 again - so alas, a gain AGAIN...Hello, Yo-Yo! This story is so old, so annoying, and soooooo last July. I'm over it but I will say that in my heart of hearts, I know that until I get a grip on the school work hanging over my head, I will be able to focus on little else. I know it's wrong, but it's the reality.
Another reality is that I get to go for a physical next week as a part of my clearances for student teaching. I can't remember what I weighed the last time I saw my doctor but I was probably in the 220's, if I'm guessing. So I haven't changed much weight wise but I know that I expressed to her the last time I was there that I wanted to lose weight...that was at least 2 years ago. Um, hello???? Epic fail.
Anyway - I am sorry to disappoint once again - that goes for myself and my fellow bloggers. If I lost an ounce for every time I thought about dieting or losing weight, I'd be the world's skinniest woman. But let's face it, thinking doesn't mean doing....I'm not stupid. I know which end is up.I'm struggling more than ever and I hate it.
In three weeks I will be a free woman, though!! I will have time to live again and get my head in order and focus on a plan. Am I making excuses? Maybe...
Does that mean I accept the way I am and am ready to give up? No - Not at all.
I hope every one else is having better luck.....or better motivation...or whatever it is I lack.
Keep posting your success stories. Even a girl who isn't "there yet" still likes to hear good news from the "other side."