Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Diet Schizophrenia

The post I am about to write isn't a good one....but it isn't a "bad" one either. I'm tired of viewing dieting in terms of being good and bad. There's more to dieting than a basic black or white description of "how I'm doing." In short, this post is more of a realistic, here it is, I can't deny it or lie, type of post. I debated even writing it, but you know what? If I don't, my situation doesn't improve anyway, so I thought to myself, why avoid it?

I know I'm waaaaay late on the Christmas Dress Challenge post, so I apologize - but I wanted to get my "results" in anyway, because this blog is about honesty, and it's about accountability, no matter how ugly some weeks are. And this week? Well, this week is like Freddy Krueger on the ugly scale - just so you know.

Allow me to recap: I am just returning from a nice long weekend celebrating my 1 year anniversary. Sigh....I spent the past few days swimming in good memories and reminiscing about the happiest year of my life. Good times, indeed.

And make no mistake - by celebrating, I mean celebrating like a fat person. Not celebrating like a person who is is trying to lose weight. In other words, there was no calorie or point counting, or refusing of alcoholic beverages, or saying no to sweet indulgences that appeared in the shape of the top tier of my wedding cake. Oh no.

I know, I know - gasp all you want. It happened. There is no going back. Let's just say, I will not be receiving calls to be Jenny Craig's next spokesperson, nor will Jennifer Hudson have to give up her spot to make way for me as the new face of Weight Watchers.

BUT there were moments of sanity....moments that told me not all is lost. There was exercise - walks on the beach and into town with the dogs, riding bikes and well, other forms of exercise. Use your imagination (it was our anniversary, after all). A-hem......TMI????
Ok then.

In short, if I had to sum up what I feel like these days, it's a kind of like I'm going through diet schizophrenia. One day, I'm a 30-day shredding maniac, and the next day I'm Jabba the Hut. 
I gained 4 POUNDS this week (weighed in today). That's right - FOUR. I'm not making light of it - I'm just stating it as fact.
I could tell you I think it's period bloat, or I could tell you I think my scale is broken. Or I could just tell you I gained 4 pounds and call it a day.
I'm going with the last option.

I'm not really looking for any kind of pep talk over this. I'm not sure there is much to say other than I need to get my head screwed back on straight and get back to what I set out to do. I just wanted to man-up and post the news because when I began this challenge, I said I would.  I'm not going back on my word.

And as bullshitty as it sounds, I'm not giving up either. That's the funny thing about all of this. I haven't gone all completely "F-it" yet with trying to lose weight (despite the scale's unfortunate reading today), and maybe that's because I know that if I do, there will be no coming back. So when I said the time is now - it IS now. Meaning I won't let myself forget that even if I gain 4 pounds in a stinking week, that doesn't mean the fat lady has sung her final song. She hasn't. And she won't until she is thinner.
Much, much thinner.

So ladies, you'll get no excuses or "woe is me's" this week. Just a big ole plate of "this was my week and I could have done a WHOLE lot better." Don't hate me for it - just know I am glad you have heard me out.
Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.....


  1. Love this post. A wonderful balance of humor and taking ownership. Glad your anniversary was fabulous (and great to read that this past year was one of the best). Love, love, love the determination in that second to last paragraph. No apologies necessary~you are taking ownership and responsibility for where you are. It is time. Good for you. I will be here cheering you on! michele

  2. Great post!! Hate you?? Don't be silly! There are going to be weeks like this - it's just a fact. Heck, I've had months that I got off track, but, like you said, it doesn't mean you're giving up. You will never give up, and that's what's important. You got this!!

  3. Great post! I love the humor and you're so right - it happens!

  4. Great positive post. Keep on keeping on.

  5. Rochelle - You cannot change what has passed. You CAN determine that the past is not acceptable to your future and change what happens today. That is all any of us can do after a slip. We hope to learn from our actions so we are not doomed to repeat them.


  6. I write my blog for me, so I can keep my head straight and in the game. I make no appologies for what I write.....neither should you. I applaud your honesty, glad you had a fabulous time celebrating your anniversay. Tomorrow is a new day, one step at a time, keep your eye on the prize

  7. Congratz on your anniversary.

    It's ok, life happens sometimes.

    Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start again.


  8. Been there, done that. Love what you called it:)

  9. I am glad I found your blog. Your posts bring a smile to my face, because I too have been having "healthy eating/diet/whatever you want to call it" Amnesia & have gone off track too, but I keep on trucking with exercise. It is great to read your posts & it actually inspires me just knowing that I am not the only one out there. btw ~ Happy late Anniversary :)

  10. I have diet schizophrenia too! Argh!

  11. Great post, no excuses you owned up and gotta deal with it and move on. I am going through almost an exact situation as well.

  12. This is a great inspiration post. I've been putting off starting my own diet. Every day I swear I'm going to start my lifestyle change but then I'll have a soda instead of a water and say "oh I'll start tomorrow." This is what I needed to read. No excuses, no bull.
    I can tell I'm going to enjoy following this blog!

  13. GREAT post. This whole weight loss/fitness journey is, for heaven's sake, a part of life and anniversaries, holidays, reunions are a happy part of life and should be celebrated! Congratulations for having your priorities in order, in my humble opinion. I wouldn't trade happy memories or a wonderful weekend to lose 4 pounds any day! Loved this post and your attitude.

  14. I'm just glad you had an awesome time. And I hope for your next anniversary you can celebrate like a healthy person. :)

  15. No hate here! Let's get off our butts and change it up. I am ready. You are ready. I say a pants size by Christmas? What do you think?

  16. No gasping here. We've all been there, you just have to keep trucking. Not going to provide any other pep, because you seem to be in good spirits. :)

    I like the way you write and your honesty, and I'd love to follow you on this journey. So I will. :)