Sunday, October 16, 2011

Yet Another Reason To Hate Being Fat: Shoe Shopping

I had the most miserable shopping experience the other day...

It occurred to me that it's now the middle of October, and the temperatures will be dropping into the 50's and 40's sooner than I care to admit.  Transitional seasons confuse my fashion sense at times. For example, I struggle with letting go of my white pants on a 89 degree September day just because the calendar says I should. And I'm never quite sure just how long I can milk the wearing of my knee high leather boots in the springtime. Something tells me by Memorial Day, I've already over-extended myself on wearing those by a good couple of months or so.  Right now I'm a little worried that my flip flops aren't exactly the best form of footwear to pair with my winter coat and scarf this year...and there in lies the problem, my friends.

I need to find some closed-toe shoes - stat.

I'll be the first to admit I'd spend all year in flip flops if I thought it was socially acceptable. I have come to find out it's not - so now I have to go and find shoes that not only fit my hideous fat Fred Flintstone feet, but have some semblance of style that is not associated with a 87 year old woman who suffers from severe hammer toes, watermelon sized bunions and gnarly crusty corns. In other words, I am trying to avoid buying shoes that look like this:

Let's just say I'm not ready to go all "orthopedic granny" on my footwear just yet.....but my feet probably wish I would. While I may not suffer from bunions, hammer toes or corns, I do have a horribly high instep that leaves many, many, MANY shoe styles on the "go ahead and look but don't even think about wearing" list. Basically it boils down to this: if I like a shoe style-wise, it is probably going to be a huge old Hell No for my feet. Because of my extremely high instep (and let's face it, the extra fat on my feet) I get this odd mini-muffin top thing happening on my foot when I try on shoes that are cut a certain way. It's like the shoe digs into my foot the way a belt would dig into your middle if you made it too tight, causing your belly to pour out over the top of your pants. Use your best mental imaging skills to picture my foot kind of bulging over the top of the shoe if it is cut anywhere in the center of my instep, or close to my toe cleavage. Never mind the fact that I also have WIDE feet (but of course) that just adds to this already 'shitty on it's own' issue.  It's getting harder and harder to find any shoes that I can jam these sausage hooves into that won't result in me being crippled after 20 minutes. Keep in mind the mental trauma I have from all of this - I used to work in the fashion industry and spent years practicing the "fashion before comfort" rule. Once upon a time I used to LIVE in 4" platform heels. These days, uh...not so much.

Anyway, I digress.  After my realization that flips flops are really not the new black of cold weather footwear, I ventured out to DSW to do a little shopping. It's boot season ladies, and I don't know about you, but if you have wide calves, as I do, boot shopping is the ultimate bitch.
Not ONLY do I feel like are my calves wider than the Hoover Dam BUT I have short legs to boot (no pun intended) so the whole proportion thing is off, too...wide calf boots usually hit me at a weird place making the widest part of the opening up by my knee. So that wide part meant to accommodate a wide calf? Maybe that works on someone taller than 5'....but that person isn't me. I have found a few pairs to sort of work - usually they involve some type of stretch material, and a whole lot of sweating and cursing while putting them on.

But finding real honest to goodness normal shoes is still a huge issue....I can't help but wonder if losing weight will help my feet get back into fashion too? It's just one more thing to hate about being fat....(and the list goes on).

So with all of this said, it's probably a good thing that last week's gain is starting to disappear. As of yesterday I was back at 229, so that is a loss of 3.25 pounds since Monday.....
Hey, if it gets me back in some cute shoes, I'm damn near willing to do anything!


  1. I had to give up cute shoes when I was diagnosed with neuroma about 8 years ago. I pretty much by my shoes from a specialty store and online, since I know the one brand that works. It is darn expensive:(

  2. Have you tried shoe and boot shopping at Avenue or Lane Bryant? They have really cute styles and all geared to us wide footed, big calved Divas!!!!

  3. Me again....meant to say woooohooo on the weight loss too!!

  4. First off Yay on the loss! Secondly I feel your pain in the boot department. I have HUGE calves. I have sessy snow boots that zip up. Only on me they zip halfway. I have never even attempted another other boot styles. Seriously, can nothing be easy for us? (Except lifting my fork to my mouth?? ha ha!)

  5. I wear boots under my work pants -- just don't zip them up all the way.

    And should be like off guards from the fat monster. I mean really, I am already limited to looking at purses and jewelry when shopping with regular-sized people. Shoes too? Argh!

  6. Torrid, Lane Bryant and Avenue sell wide calf boots as well as some online retailers. I have a wide calf and I have a couple of different boots from Torrid that fit well.

  7. I wore a size 9 shoe. After the birth of my first daughter: sz 10.
    At 385 I wore a size 12WW shoe. Today, after losing 220 pounds I wear a size 11W. I hate it but I cannot it anymore than I can change my height. I carried a good portion of my weight in my legs. My calves are like pudgy deflated balloons now.


  8. I feel your pain! When I was thin I wore a size 6.5, but when I gained all the weight I went up to a size 8, sometimes a size 8W!! My feet got so fat, BUT I'm happy to report that since losing almost 30 pounds my feet are shrinking! I can now wear a size 7.5 regular. I still have big calves though, so boots are still an issue. Anyway, have hope - your feet will shrink!

  9. Ahh... I have the fattest feet.. finding shoes sucks. I usually wear hiking boots/sneakers all the tame, and that suuuuure makes me feel sexy :p

  10. I'm kind of glad there's not a name for the foot muffin-top phenomenon, but I'm sure someone will think of a really mean, humiliating one so we can all feel judged by it.

    Lately, I've been sucking it up and buying really expensive (relative to the discount shoes at TJ Maxx etc.) GOOD shoes that actually fit and are comfortable and will last. Finding them in a style I like and a price that doesn't offend my sensibilities means there are approximately 3 pairs of shoes I'm likely to buy.

    I'm loving my Camper shoes that I got from Zappos, even though I have a slight foot-muffin situation in them. They are the first heels I can actually wear for hours on end and still walk in comfortably. I want to try some of their boots, but don't want to get my heart broken if they won't fit over my calves. Le sigh ...

  11. Wooohooo! Big loss. And yes, losing weight will make your feet shrink. I go from an 8.5 to a 7.5 depending on my weight.

    Ohh, and boots. Yeah, if I am anything over 200lbs, boots are out of the question. So sad.