Ever since Halloween, I feel like life has been on perpetual fast speed and I just need to slow things down. It's the proverbial Catch 22 - I want time to go by quickly so that I will be finished with my classes and all the hellish time-sucking work that comes with them - But I NEED it to also slow down because Lord knows the work load I have in front of me can't get done in the course of a few days. I have 3 weeks to go and in that time I have the following projects due: 2 research papers, a special ed modified lesson plan, a graphic organizer to accompany one of my research papers, a group presentation, 2 final exams and a HUGE field work observation write up that I have to do based on my 90 hours of elementary school classroom observation (totaling about 100 pages typed). Never mind the stuff I have to do for the upcoming holiday.
Yeah, my head is spinning big time. Like a friggin' top.
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| Stop the ride, I wanna get off..... |
So... if you guessed that dieting isn't on the front burner this week, you're 100% correctomundo!! What is it they say about the word "STRESSED" spelled backwards....??? Oh, come on - You know.....and I have been having my unfair share.
Basically, it boils down to this: I'm eating when I can, and eating what is available to me - and it's not all veggies and fruit, that is for sure. It doesn't mean I am having corn dogs dipped in cheeze whiz and chocolate covered chicken wings or anything, but I haven't been cooking a whole heck of a lot, that's for sure. My husband is on kitchen duty. In other words - There has been pizza. And shepherd's pie. And steak. And today a turkey & swiss pannini from the deli down the street. I did manage to make homemade black bean soup that was absolutely fabulous, minus the gas it gave me for three days after the fact. Beg pardon - TMI?????
This week wasn't great to say the least - I am back at 231 again - so alas, a gain AGAIN...Hello, Yo-Yo! This story is so old, so annoying, and soooooo last July. I'm over it but I will say that in my heart of hearts, I know that until I get a grip on the school work hanging over my head, I will be able to focus on little else. I know it's wrong, but it's the reality.
Another reality is that I get to go for a physical next week as a part of my clearances for student teaching. I can't remember what I weighed the last time I saw my doctor but I was probably in the 220's, if I'm guessing. So I haven't changed much weight wise but I know that I expressed to her the last time I was there that I wanted to lose weight...that was at least 2 years ago. Um, hello???? Epic fail.
Anyway - I am sorry to disappoint once again - that goes for myself and my fellow bloggers. If I lost an ounce for every time I thought about dieting or losing weight, I'd be the world's skinniest woman. But let's face it, thinking doesn't mean doing....I'm not stupid. I know which end is up.I'm struggling more than ever and I hate it.
In three weeks I will be a free woman, though!! I will have time to live again and get my head in order and focus on a plan. Am I making excuses? Maybe...
Does that mean I accept the way I am and am ready to give up? No - Not at all.
I hope every one else is having better luck.....or better motivation...or whatever it is I lack.
Keep posting your success stories. Even a girl who isn't "there yet" still likes to hear good news from the "other side."
You owe no apologies to us, only yourself if that's the way you think about things. This is your journey or struggle or adventure or life or whatever you consider it. I have much empathy, being the yo-yo queen. Love how you said that if you lost an ounce for every thought...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you are not giving up. Ask yourself what you can do now. Even before those three weeks are up. And if there is anything I can do to help, just ask.
We all have rough times and that is what friends are for to give you support. You will get back on track. I too am having a rough week.
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone in your struggles...that is for sure! Just do the best you can, and get through the next few heck-tick weeks with school, and then you'll be able to shift your focus to your health. Hold on to the goal through the stress, and you can continue to work on it on the other side. Happy Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteThe holidays are a huge struggle for me as well as most people but you have to enjoy your life as well.....so the best of luck to ya:)
ReplyDeleteFirst: At the end of the semester it is survival mode. So, survive this. Then make your plan to get through the holidays that remain. Even kicking up the exercise will make a big difference for you.
ReplyDeleteSecond: once you survive the end of the semester stuff: make a reasonable and sensible plan as to how you will REALLY tackle your health and get past these failures. Plus, having a plan will help you to talk for real with your doc (who will not be happy).
Third: ST is also stressful. Your plan for # 2 above should include what you will do to care for yourself during the spring semester.
Fourth: Think about one of two small goals that you can achieve related to eating and fitness for just this week of Thanksgiving, like T-day itself. Achieving small goals sets you to realize your bigger goals.
Last, Happy Thanksgiving! michele
Keep your goals in focus and just keep on truckin'. One day at a time.
ReplyDeleteRochelle,
ReplyDeleteIt took me years of finding successful ways to do it wrong before I started having weeks and months where I could get the food right. I started really working on keeping the pounds off five years ago - two days after Thanksgiving. You can stop the slipping now and move forward. We are here to support you.
Jane at keepingthepoundsoff.com
You know... school is hard. Mine is killing me, and I have exams coming up that will slowly choke me to death. It's all that much harder staying focused during that time, and when we can't do it .. all that matters is that we pick up again when we can!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it!
I am a "Fly Like An Eagle" Steve Miller fan, too! "Time keeps on slippin..." for sure. I am 53 (for at least a couple more weeks) and one day something just clicked. I am on forward motion with pauses, but for every step I take, I plan on staying there or moving on.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard when stressed and busy. Quick choices and choices on the run a lot of times are not the best, I know.
Have a great holiday!
Ah the college years. If I hadn't gone to grad school immediately after undergrad, I doubt I would have gone at all! Our youngest is an education major and is stressing like crazy right now. Projects on top of project on top of papers. Same drill. Some things I just do not miss!
ReplyDeleteDon't give up on yourself! I certainly haven't given up on you! We just have to take the ups with the downs and keep on keepin' on!
Life can be so damn hard sometimes. I understand how you feel hun. Don't give up, sometimes you have to leave the past and just try again, today. Meal by meal, choice by choice. Good luck with the College stuff, I know that is a major pressure too.
ReplyDeleteHa, I can relate on the "epic fail." But I reject that thought entirely. To fail would be to give up, and I don't think you have. We'll slog on, and be back in the 220s before we know it!
ReplyDeleteJust stopping by to wish you Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Love and hugs...
ReplyDeleteWishing you a Very Happy New Year.
ReplyDelete