|I know it is...but DAMN!!!!|
I kind of figured the second the "no sugar" mini-challenge came into play, suddenly I'd be craving it like a wild woman. It's kind of funny how the human mind works. For weeks I have been sticking to a great eating plan, limiting sugar like I never have before, avoiding temptations, and indulging in only "safe desserts" like sugar free fudge bars or fruit. Come to think of it, since this challenge began, I probably have only really indulged in dessert-y type things like cake, pie, or real ice cream maybe a total of 4 or 5 times TOPS (I think) which is pretty damn crazy good considering how much sugary shit I used to consume before this challenge began.
So why am I craving it now like a junk-food junkie that needs mega-fix? Let me be my own psychotherapist for a moment, ok? I don't think I'm going too far out on a limb here to say that this incessant gnawing and nagging sugar-craving I am feeling is because for the first time during this whole "diet", I have made it a rule that I COULD NOT have it. I have put sugar on the "Do Not Fly" list in the official sense and upon doing so, I apparently poked a sleeping friggin' bear.
Over the past weeks, I have given up my sugar indulgence happily knowing that in doing so, my body would be given optimal chance for weight reduction. There were moments along the way where yes, I did have an ice cream cone (like on vacation), a few cookies (that were left after our block party planning meeting), or a slice of cake (like during a recent birthday celebration for my mom). But compared to my habits of the past, these indulgences are a drop in the sugar bucket so to speak. And each time I partook in eating those treats (and that's what I considered them - treats), I went right back to my good eating habits, and didn't obsess over when the next time would be for me to eat something "bad" like that again.
This week (and especially today for some reason) it seems I have placed a dangerous focus on sugar, and how much I miss it. I am not sure what the devil is happening to me and it's the first time since our challenge began that I feel like I am seriously being denied something. Maybe it's hormonal, but I don't think so since Aunt Flo isn't anywhere near the vicinity. I'm pretty sure it's all mental. I've done the one thing I haven't done to myself in the past 8 weeks and it's backfired on me. I've said no to something that until this week, I really was ok with avoiding, or having in small amounts, on infrequent occasions. But now, it's off limits - and I just realize that the deprivation thing doesn't work for me. Even if it is presented as a simple little ol' challenge that only lasts a week.
Don't worry - I haven't held up a Dunkin' Donuts or purchased frosting by the case at my grocery store and sat in my car eating it with a spoon. It hasn't gone anywhere past the craving stage - but I will admit, I am craving it hard. I really hate this feeling. And yes, I've tried distracting myself in all ways possible, eating something healthy, drinking lots of water, trying to satisfy the craving with fruit, all to no avail. I have a feeling I'll be feeling this until Sunday.
And if that happens, so be it. I'm still committed to this week's mini-challenge and so far haven't faltered - but I don't feel good about it this week for whatever messed up reason. And ironically enough, today I hit my 20 lb goal - go figure. That should be motivation enough to want to stay far, far away from anything sweet, but no - I could eat a brownie the size of my head right now and not care. Seriously - the craving is intense.
Anyway - it's just about dinner time so I am hoping that after I'm done, some of this feeling subsides. A girl can hope, anyway.
How is everyone else doing this week? Anyone else finding this mini-challenge to be a real pain in the butt?