Clearing out the crap

Holy Heat Wave, people!
This disgusting weather is really doing a number on my motivation to get outside and exercise. It's 10 AM and 87 degrees already. I just got back from a quick walk to the corner deli for some milk and the air was just so....uh, thick. This kind of weather makes me have only one thought: My butt should be at the beach. End of story.

Since that's not my reality at the moment, I need to suck it up and put plan B into action. Today I am going to *finally* clean up the rest of the red room (not to be confused with "redrum" from The Shining), so dubbed because the walls are painted bright red - see below). It used to be a spare bedroom but we decided to take down the bed and convert it into a mini home gym of sorts. At least that was the plan.  I had promised myself (and Josh) that once summer classes were over and we got back from vacation, I'd haul ass in there and get everything organized so that the gym equipment could be arranged in a way that made it actually user friendly. Well, let's just say classes were over June 30th and here is the state of the room as of this very moment:

Oh, what a friggin' mess!

I think I see an elliptical machine in there somewhere...

A treadmill and recumbent bike are under there somewhere...

I have a shelf full of stuff from the wedding (which was back in October, incidentally) and some various fabrics I have a hard time departing with (I still have dreams of making something with them), and bins full of supplies and materials and books I will need for school and when I finally have a classroom of my own. The question is where to go with all of it??? I have tried to sort through some stuff and believe it or not, this room actually shows progress from the state it was in a few months ago. However, I still need to find a home for the plastic bins of shit important things because right now they are the biggest hindrances to getting this room in shape -  so that I can get in shape!

There is a part of me that fears I may have some mild hoarder mentality at times (have you seen that show?? SCARY!) because I seem to have a hard time parting with things - even things I know really won't effect me or my life if I get rid of them. I desperately need to break that habit because this room alone is a clear indication of what happens when you don't chuck crap that you don't need, or at the very least organize it in some manner that makes sense. There are times, however, (and I am reaching that point now) that I want to just scrap everything and start anew. Part of it is this "new" journey I have embarked on. I think of the process as not only de-cluttering the space in which I live, but also de-cluttering the mind, and allowing me to focus on the things that are most important - like getting healthy and exercising.  By not cleaning this room up, I am single-handedly sabotaging my own workouts. And that's so not cool, and I know it.

I've never been a neat-nick by any stretch of the imagination - but it seems the older I get the more I crave order and want to live to a more simple existence with less "stuff" around me that has no value. Oh, and do we have stuff! My husband and I combined each of our 36 years of separate living into one back in 2008 and the house just sort of exploded. We are beyond ready for a good weeding out of stuff - and I think that once we do, we will feel all the better for it.

I often wonder if the self-diagnosed hoarder in me is a part of my past issues with food. Not being able to throw anything away - not being able to let a plate exist with food still on it. Feeling like I had to stuff myself with bad-for-me "stuff", ironically enough to make me feel better - if only for a nano-second. With each day that passes, I learn a thing a two about myself. I'm finally dedicating time to THINK about my issues, instead of just complain about them and blame my weight on lack of will power. I know that isn't the real issue. It never is....

Anyway, I hope to achieve some progress here today so that by tomorrow this will be a fully functioning space to work out! Tomorrow is also weigh in day and I am both excited and nervous about what the scale will reveal. Hope everyone is having a good day and staying cool!

I also just want to say how happy I am to have made some new connections with fellow bloggers. Thank you for your comments and support! It is wonderful to be able to share this ride with people you know are working toward similar weight loss goals! Good luck to all of you!