Welcome to my first day, and first post of my brand spanking new blog!!! I finally manned up and did it....out with the old and in with the new! For those that have followed me, you know I have been desperately wanting to shed not just physical pounds, but also the old skin of my previous blog - http://weightwedding.blogspot.com/ - and in turn, begin a new blog - a clean slate if you will. It might seem a little weird but I have my odd ball reasons for doing this, no matter how ridiculous they may seem.
Since this is not my first weight loss rodeo (but is intended to be my last), I am under no delusions that the simple act of dropping an old blog site gives me a leg up on dropping the pounds; but I did feel as if I needed the symbolic change of starting fresh with something that is strictly about THIS particular journey.
My old blog focused on life before marriage and the goals surrounding losing weight so that I could look good in a white dress. I didn't exactly meet the goals I had set and when I went back to read old posts (as I often did), I would always end up opening a huge can of self-berating whoop-ass on myself when I reviewed my various failed attempts at losing weight. I felt like I needed to cut the cord so to speak, and give myself a change of scenery, even if it's only web-based.
I have decided that with this blog, and this new start, things are going to be different. I have been reading so many wonderful and inspirational blogs (see blog list) and the main thing I notice is the positive attitudes and the dedication other people have to getting healthy. For anyone who has tried to lose weight in the past, it can be a long and winding road for sure...undoubtedly, there will always be bumps and hills and various other forces to be reckoned with, but the important thing to know is that it is navigable. I have to keep reminding myself of that. This is not some insane venture I am taking on that has never been attempted before - this is something that people are doing for themselves EVERY DAY. And I do believe that I, too, will have one of those glorious "after" pictures someday....
I now realize that my past behaviors have lead me to give up when I had a bad day, adhering to that unhealthy all or nothing approach that so many people adopt when trying to shed the pounds. I have decided that that isn't going to be my mojo anymore....I am OK with slow and steady. I just want to see progress being made, not excuses be handed out left and right. I also want to be upfront about my progress and that is why for the first time I have decided to include pictures of myself, no matter how embarrassing. These pictures do not lie, no matter how much I'd like them to.
Deep down, (until today when I took those bare-my-soul pictures) I think I had some warped image of what I looked like (sort of the reverse of anorexia??), and maybe in some ways I was able to shut out the reality of my image to the outside world that way. It's odd, but for me, fat was more of a feeling I had, not necessarily a look. However, in the past 6 months especially, as my weight ballooned, I started to avoid mirrors, cameras and anything that would show me the results of my bad behavior. But one thing you can't escape is the feeling that you have when your clothes don't fit. Tight pants are tight pants and no amount of camera avoidance can change the way they feel or the red ring they leave around your waistline. And for this reason especially, I need to make this change.
So, I have thought long and hard about what I want this blog to represent. It's not just a story through words, but it also will be a story through pictures, stats, and gained information. Weigh-ins will be on Fridays and progress pictures will be posted monthly. I hope you will join me as I make the way to a new me.