Monday, September 26, 2011

Derailed it Monday already?????
It's been a doozie of a weekend, folks. And I don't mean in a good way....or maybe I just mean, not in a good way for weight loss. More on that later....

I know I've been missing from my blog for a few days and that's because if I WAS sitting at my computer these past few days, it was for the sole purpose of doing homework. I had a paper and lesson plan to tackle and so if anything at all was going to get typed by these little sausage fingers, I felt those two things took precedence. I still have some tweaking to do on both projects before I go to class this evening, but decided to first spend a couple of minutes playing catch up in Blogland.

So, Monday is the Christmas Dress Challenge Update Day where we share our (a-hem) progress....
What can I tell you other than I continue to struggle daily with weight loss. Something in my head has not clicked the way it is supposed to. I don't know if this is because it's the umpteenth million time I have tried to do this, or if I just am focused on other things right now. What I do know is that my heart and soul has not been 100% into the game. And that is just the truth. I continue to write about it and keep this blog because I feel it helps me in some respect, but part of me has to ask, "What's it all for if you aren't going to commit yourself fully???? People do not want to hear about your failed attempts."

I was on a kick-ass streak with the 30 Day Shred but it has been three, yes THREE days since I have done the workout. I know when I go to do it today (and I will), it will feel like Day 1. But I am going to do it!

Although I have not Shredded for 3 days, I have taken walks with my husband and the dogs (usually close to 60 min a pop) - so I have not been a sloth on the couch all weekend either. Water consumption (64 oz) was on track until yesterday....I only got in about half of that. (And thanks to everyone commenting about the pee thing, by the way! Who knew it was such a popular topic?? Ha!).

The real trouble I am having is with tracking is the thing I need to be MOST accountable for, and yet, it is really where I hit a wall. I thought that hopping back on the WW train was the way to go, but I am not so sure now. Each day as I lose track of what I eat, I feel like a huge failure.  I have always faltered when I had to write down absolutely everything I eat....Yeah, you read this correctly, and so many of you are probably ready to slap me through your computer screen while screaming, "Duh!!!" I realize what I just wrote is the dieter's #1 golden rule. Know exactly what you are putting in your mouth and how much it's going to "cost you." Here is where I should be having that "A-ha", or as I like to call it, "No Shit!" Moment where I say to myself - "Well, this is why you haven't lost any weight! You MUST be held accountable for what you eat." And I know this....really, I do.

So, my question today is this: For those of you that are religious about tracking your food - do you count calories or do WW points? Tell me what you like best about your method of keeping your food portions/intake "in check" and how you approach this each day.

My problem isn't necessarily that I don't know how to do these's simply that I am doing them a bit half assed at the moment and it shows in the lack of weight loss I have had for months now. This past Friday (which is technically my official weigh day), the scale didn't budge from last week (holding steady at 229.25), despite my commitment to the Shred. So on Friday, I think I weighed in, got frustrated, wallowed a bit and then went off the rails....completely. There may or may not have been alcohol and Oreos involved.

What amazes me is how I can fall so quickly. I can be a powerhouse for days, feeling great, working hard at keeping things on the up and up - and then BOOM. I get lazy, and let things slide. Again, I know this is no way to conduct myself or handle this beast within.....I feel like for the past few days I have let "it" get the best of me, and I don't know why. Every time this happens (you get that this is not an uncommon occurrance, right?), it's like I am saying to the universe I really don't give a rat's ass about myself. And while I know in my heart of hearts that's not true, the actions say otherwise.

So that's what has been going on with me these past few days (aren't you glad you asked?).....just here fighting some familiar demons and hoping that eventually I will find my way back to a better mind set - because this one??? Totally not working for me.


  1. I think you've done well with the workouts, if you did it three times and you've been walking then that's a really good thing. It's important to be realistic with goals, will you really do 5 days a week (sorry, was 5 days your goal? it's slipping my mind right now), or will you aim for 5 , do 3 and beat yourself up for it? If it's the latter then aim for 3 a week and count anything else you do as a bonus. It's important to push yourself, but if it's going to have a negative effect on you overall, perhaps it's time for a rethink?

    I struggled a lot with food this week because I got kind of slack with tracking and ate a lot at night. I track calories myself, and I use a smaller plate a meal times to help keep portions smaller. Do you have a smart phone? I have my calorie tracker on my iphone 4, so it's always with me.

  2. Rochelle, darling... where do we start? It's so simple, but it's not simple at all right? This post explains how you know what the problem is, but what is lacking is a plan to manage the problem. If tracking is the problem, then plan ahead. Prepare your meals for three days in advance, take your lunch with you to work. You will know what you will eat and what the calories are. A bad decision at lunch won't derail you into McDs for supper, you'll already be a step ahead of the wandering mind all of us fatties have, lol. Then, or should I say right effin now - throw all the crap out of your house. Why do you even have oreos there? Do you have ice cream and chili cheese fritos too? That shit needs to leave your house, now.

    I cave into cravings for things, but I don't keep it at my house. I go for a walk, if I'm still craving - I try to have something else. If I just can't get over it, I have to go to the store and get it. My most recent was last weekend and it was a kit kat bar, big deal. I didn't have a bag of them at my disposal though, I had to really work for that stupid kit kat. Did it taste good? Yes. Would I do it again? Yes. But, it's not at my house. I can't be trusted with certain foods so I keep them away.

    Make a list of pros and cons to losing weight. Why do you want to lose weight? Post it here, but also hand write it and hang it in your house by your fridge or on the mirror you use every day to get ready for work. Write down the negatives to losing weight. Here is my list:

    I suck at tracking. Okay? Suck. I bite the big one when it comes to tracking. I try to eat routine things and tally it up in my head because I already know the calories. That has worked for me *most weeks and I totally bombed on others. You have to figure out what works best for you.

    Set a 3 week goal. For 21 days, you will do.... what? As far as exercise, tracking, meditation, etc.. that will help you establish a habit.

    You can do this. You are worth it, but you're the only one who can do anything about it. You have to believe you're worth it. Best wishes, doll!

  3. I got in the habit of tracking my calories using It's easy but it took me some time to create this habit. I am reading a fantastic book that I will suggest to you. The One Day Way- it's really, really a good one. Just take this whole thing one day at a time. No dwelling on the past or thinking about the future. Just one day at a time.

  4. We are reading you and that does mean, we have an interest in HOW you are doing. Don't give up so fast. We don't give up on you and we believe, that YOU can do this! You can do this! Look at me, I haven't lost anything yet either, but we have to stick together and give us each other a chance, or two or three.

  5. Gosh, when I read this post, it was almost like reading my own journal from years past. I know exactly what you mean about being able to hit it hard for a few days, then completely give-up and lose your momentum. Like you, Im a total failure at tracking my food, but I have found something that works for me. I'm a carb addict and that's why I've gained so much weight. I've started Jorge Cruise's Belly Fat Melt Fast Track program which is much like Atkin's with some major differences, i.e., limited fruit and lots of good veggies. In four days, my carb cravings were gone and I haven't had any bread or starches for a week and I don't miss them. I don't have to count calories or points or anything - just eat the right foods. I'm down 4.5 pounds this week. Just some thoughts that might help from someone else who hates to track food and constantly obsess about what I'm eating. Good luck and I wish you a strong and focused week #2. Blessings. Jackie

  6. Don't give up and don't stop blogging. I blogged for a while (you can see it in post list) and then I "took a break". For about 8 months. When I was blogging I felt fabulous, and I was losing weight. Slowly, but I was losing. When I stopped blogging I sunk into a depression that lasted for about 6 months. It was horrible. I ate everything in sight and didn't care. I ate whole cans of frosting and whole bowls of brownie mix. I ballooned right back up there. Then i started blogging about a month and a half ago, and it was like coming up for fresh air. I NEED the support, I NEED the friends, and I NEED to know I"m not alone. So do you, I think. So blog, about anything and everything. We're here for you. We like to listen, and we like to respond. (Just look at how many people care!)

    About the counting, I use My Fitness Pal and I am SOOOO in love with it. It's like a fattie facebook. :P You can track food (calories, fat, protein, ect.), exercise, have friends, post in forums - I love it. You literally have a food diary, and when you complete your entry for the day, it tells you how much you'd weigh if you ate like that everyday, in 5 weeks. On one good day it told me 295. (I'm 303 right now -down from 320) I was ecstatic. And it was good encouragement for the next day. It's awesome.

    So, keep it up, don't give up, and know we care!!! I'll be seeing you around!

  7. You've been doing so good id hate to see you waste all your hard work.
    I track using WW points, it works good for me and I do weigh and measure my food too...I have a habit of over more spoonful doesn't natter!!!! ....NOT.
    I've been doing it so long it's second nature now...a habit. Give it a go...commit to it for 10 days it then becomes a habit

  8. Don't give up. Instead of blasting yourself, know that you do want to succeed and are working towards it. Didn't blog for 3 days? Aren't tracking what you eat? Well guess what, you blogged again today, you are going to shred and you know you need to watch what you eat. Just keep doing those things and move ahead. We all fall behind, slip up, slack off, etc. but then you just get back to it and keep going. That is life, just keep going and know that 2 days do not put an end to the positive actions of the 7 days before that. Nor do the 2 days mean there won't be positive action going forward. So get back to it and know it will probably happen again but that is part of the process - no one is perfect but everyone can make positive progress if they keep moving forward!

  9. Oh yea tracking I have found makes it all fall in place. It gives me reassurance that I am on plan. I have to play with it on the food diary before I decide to put it down the throat. At least that is how it is supposed to go...I can probably count on a meltdown or more somewhere along the challenge. The non dieters in my house hold sometimes get stuff that I try try so hard to resist.

  10. I am not sure if you follow Dr Fat Gets Fit, but she had a great post today about being on game. take a look.

    You received some good comments above, so I will not repeat others.

    Here is my take: if not now: when? getting healthy is the most important thing you are doing right now (and yes that includes your el ed program and education). It is hard and yes, sometimes we do not have our mojo. But if not now, when??? When will you put yourself and your own health above other things and vow to love yourself by taking care of yourself? I am asking because I was much like you, putting it off and off and making loads of excuses. You can read more about me here if you like: and

    You can do this. There is an entire blogging community ready to willing to encourage you. It is tough , it is slow, but, yes it can be done. You are worth your efforts. You are. Michele

  11. I have been right where you are right now, so many times. I never thought I would succeed, and even now as I am finally succeeding I worry that I will self sabotage myself and it will all come crashing down.

    Dont beat yourself up, one thing you learn is you absolutely HAVE to be in the right frame of mind, ready and focussed on weight loss as it's almost a full time job.

    The one thing that has made me see the light? Finding an exercise activity that I ENJOY! I have had a year of self repair (have a long way to go) but after finding myself a creative hobby that I adore I committed to finding a physical hobby that I adored too. For me it was swimming laps. It is always in the 90's - 100's all year round here and I am NOT one for sweating, swimming fixes all my issues with exercise.

    So long story short, best advice I can give. Find an active hobby you enjoy. And try out My Fitness Pal, I am loving it.

    Chin Up, it will all "click" just keep trying.

  12. Second comment: I know your question to all of us was about tracking (which I do and just with paper and pencil), so I might have seemed in left field. But, the truth is, I have been in your shoes. I have very little that I regret in my life, but I do wish I had got my act together about being at a healthy weight much earlier. That is what I hope for you: you kick start yourself into overall better fitness. Feel free to contact me if you would like. Michele

  13. First, let me say that I hope you keep blogging through this! When I am really struggling, which is unfortunately often, the blog and community is what keeps me going.

    Second, tracking. It is one of those things where one size does not fit all. I did WW successfully about a decade ago so am familiar with tracking points. I went back this past January to check out the new program but just could not commit to calculate and tracking points again.

    I have, however, tried several online trackers that tally calories and nutritional information and liked them. But I know others who find the best success in not worrying about the numbers or points but just committing to writing down every morsel that goes in their mouths. What I'd love to do is use a phone app, myself, but I don't have a smart phone:(

    I'm going to give you some tough love now; I hope that's okay. If you want this, ask yourself what works for you. Then commit to doing that thing or those things for a day. Just one day. Then another. Then another. You can do this! Look for the reasons why you want it. And if I can help, let me know. I'd be happy to reach out by email for accountability or support or whatever.

  14. Quick question for you, how much space do you need to do the shred? I don't have a huge amount of space in my room, but I don't want to buy it if I have to do it in the family room because I don't want people walking in and out.

  15. You can do this, and I guess I would say if there's one thing you can do this week, it would be to first get your food under control. The exercise will follow. If your food is good, you will still lose weight. If you only exercise, the weight loss is less likely. When I went to Weight Watchers many years ago and lost 70 pounds, they told us NOT to exercise. I didn't exercise the whole time, and still showed good losses every week. Think about getting your food organized, shopping completed, and focus on that for a while. This is just a suggestion. I am injured and didn't exercise at all last week other than regular walking (and not that much). I lost 3.5 pounds. We're doing this with you, so reach out to the other challengers! My best to you....

  16. I track my ww points online, on my phone and in my journal. I also use my fitness pal to track my calories.
    it works

    ive found that if i plan my day in the morning or even the night before, track it.. then stick to it.. it works!

  17. I can really relate to this post. I've been going through some of the same stuff. I do so great for a few days, and then I crash for a week, and then the cycle starts over again, but I've come to realize that there are going to be many, many starts and stops on this journey because it is such a difficult journey. We just have to remember that giving up is not an option! Yes, it's going to be hard, but you can do it, Rochelle! I know it, and you have to know it, too! Believe in yourself, and never give up!

  18. So glad to have found your blog You are just where I was about a year ago or so. I was 40 years old and 250 pounds. Struggled with my weight my whole life. I've now lost 85pounds from my highest weight. I totally agree with Michele. (She's great, isn't she?)

    I track calories. I use an app on my iphone called LoseIt. Calories work for me. I just never jived with learning points and calculating them when cooking, etc. I tolerate only very simple math. LoseIt has a web version and it's free. Of course there are so many other online programs.

    Of course it doesn't really matter what any of us do. This is YOUR life and it needs to be YOUR way. Find what works for you. That may take some experimenting. You can do this!

  19. Ok, this may not be the "advice" you're looking for...I don't track my food at all. I make the smartest decisions I can at the time, I listen to my body to see if I'm actually hungry or if I'm just bored hungry. Come dinner time, I eat whatever Chris is going to have (usually I cook it so it's mostly healthy) but I'll cut the portion size in half. Just try to be with purpose rather than mindlessly. Thats the biggest change.

  20. The way I stay accountable with my food is through pre-planning. I also tend to eat the same breakfast, lunch and snack every day. Dinner is about the only "wild card". I still love writing down points versus calories. Something better about seeing that smaller number that just works for my brain.

    Good luck, honey. We all understand what you're going through.

  21. Rochelle-
    When I was 385 it was easy to think it was not possible to ever get to where I wanted to be. It was easier to cry poor me and pour myself another bag of chips. I had to realize first and foremost that I am worth it today and everyday. You are worth it - every effort. There is no failure if you do not quit.

    I track every day w/ pencil and paper. It took me a long time to get over not being 'perfect' every freaking day. I had to grow into it. The move I accepted what I needed to do for long term recovery; the more I practiced the healthy behaviors, the more regular they became in my life. Now I rarely have a day when I do not keep to what I call my fighting plan. It IS a war that can be won and today is a battle you have the tools to fight.

    You are worth it.